There are a lot of side effects to finding out your spouse has had an affair.
Loss of sleep.
Severe weight loss.
This last one sucks the most, in my opinion. They call it the S.H.A.P.E. diet. A friend, who had gone through much the same thing as me, told me about it. She, like everyone else, noticed that I’d been losing weight and said, “You’ve joined the S.H.A.P.E. club. We don’t like having to welcome anyone to our little club but it is what it is.”
Apparently, there’s an actual SHAPE diet out there. That’s not the one. This one stands for “Spouse Had Affair, Physical or Emotional.” Let me tell you, it is phenomenal! It brings amazing quick results!
For someone who has struggled with those last measly 15 pounds ever since I had my first bambino there was a bit of joy associated with the loss of 20 pounds in about two weeks time.
Yes, you read that right. I literally couldn’t eat. The thought of putting food in my mouth made me gag. And yet every day I spent more time than I care to admit in the bathroom getting sick. Heck of a diet plan.
I had people coming up to me when I dropped the kids off at school or at church telling me, “Oh, Alecia, you look great! What’s your secret?”
I remember one time saying to someone, “You don’t want to know.”
I had no clue how to respond to those compliments. You want to look nice and loose the weight but at what price?
Not this price. I’d rather be a little chunkier and never have to deal with the hurt and betrayal.
Of course, once the marriage got back on track, so did my weight.
So here I am again, working on my weight, going about it the hard way. One exercise regime, one pound at a time.
It’s really been a struggle, and continues to be. And it has reminded me of that horrid time in my life when the weight just flew off.
And it makes me grateful. Knowing what I know now, I’d take the hard work of persistence at my weight and my marriage any day to all of the side effects that come with infidelity.
If you’re someone who’s experienced infidelity, please know that these side affects and more are completely normal and that everyone of us experiences them in completely unique time frames.
Please know that as I walk through life on the other side of this that I am keeping you in prayer. Every stage of this, from finding out to getting questions answered to determining what will happen to the marriage to counseling to restoration takes time, takes strength, takes will, and takes a toll. It’s worth it in my opinion, to get to the other side. So if you’re on this crazy roller coaster ride that is the S.H.A.P.E. diet, or if one of the other side effects is having more of an impact on you and your health right now, it will get better. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Concentrate on you. Get yourself healthy and whole. The rest will come in time.
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